A Beautiful Wife

Bob was sitting at a park bench, reading something - it really does not matter what, when he spotted an incredibly beautiful woman walk by. He was not one to ogle, but he had difficulties to divert his eye, and the woman's husband saw him. Bob immediately looked away and stared down his book. Five minutes later the man was there again. This time without his wife.

"You looked at my wife. Did you think she was beautiful?" he asked.

Bob, hesitated a little, but thought that honesty was the best course of action.

"Well, there are many beautiful women in the world, and your wife is definitely one of them. I say that just as an objective judgement. I'm sorry, if I stared at her. Believe, me have no further intentions with her, not more than with plenty of other beautiful women I happen to spot."
"No intentions?"
"None."
"None at all?"
"I can assure you."
"Would you be willing to reconsider?"
"What?"
"If you really fancy her, I could help you to get her."
"What????"
"I mean, why would I have any special rights to her?"
"Because you married her?"
"Well, yes, but I was just lucky, you know. It could have happened to anyone."
"You do not love her?"
"Oh, yes, I do that. Absolutely. The only woman in my life."
"She does not love you?"
"She definitely loves me."
"Did she say anything about me?"
"Not as such..."
"As such?"
"I do not think she actually saw you. But I am sure that if she only had noticed you..."
"Sorry, but this is too strange for me. I gotta go."

But the husband did not give up. A few days later, the doorbell rang at Bob's apartment, and the husband and his wife stood outside.

"Sorry to disturb you, a total stranger" (wink, wink), the husband said, "but our car just broke down outside your house. Can we borrow a phone?"
"Eh, don't you have mobile phones?"
"My batteries just ran out. And my wife cannot find her phone."

Bob noticed how the husband's trouser pocket protruded, as if it contained two mobile phones.

"Well, I suppose..."
"Good. What about this? My wife stays here with you and calls a repairman, while I go out and try to see if I can find the error."
"Look here..."
"That's a good chap. See you later, darling." He kissed his wife briefly. "Her name is Mary. It is a lovely name, isn't it?"

Mary apparently had no interest in Bob at all. She hardly noticed him.

"Hello, yes, listen our car just broke down. Strange noise from the motor. My husband was driving. Could you send someone over?"

They heard a car motor start outside.

"Hold on a minute."

The car started and drove off.

"Sorry, forget it. Wrong number."

Mary ran out on the street and shouted after her husband. Bob ran after, but she rushed after the car, and soon disappeared behind a corner.

A few days later Bob went to the theatre. He noticed that the people sitting next to him were the peculiar couple. They seemed perfectly happy with each other, and at first none of them showed any sign of recognising Bob. Suddenly the husband turned to him.

"What a coincidence! You here! Sorry for troubling you with the phone last week."
"No problem", Bob slowly said.
"You know, I think I really should go to the bathroom before the performance. That is always safer, isn't it?"

He sneaked out and left his wife with Bob. He did not come back. Bob had not expected him to come back. Mary was really an astonishingly beautiful woman.

"Listen, this is very awkward, but it seems your husband tries to set us up."
"Really? He does that sometimes. Don't mind him. He is a masochist, you see, and as you know there is no bigger pain than that of broken love."